نحن مع غزة

Friday, March 21, 2008

From darkness to light!

As-Salamu 3alaykum ...



Dates back to Ramadan 1425, I put my mother's abaya and long beige hijab on an decided to take a trip to the masjid, and pray taraweeh with my brother. When I first told him Muhammad I wanna go pray with you this year he could not believe his ears, he never saw me pray before. Personally I don't know subhanAllah how could I take such a decision, days before I was crying like hopeless and my head was filled with thoughts of suicide. Really the whole life to me was with no value, I questioned alot why am I still living when I have never chose it!
On the way to the masjid, Ar-Rahma, I was walking side to side with my brother. He asked me if I prayed maghrib, I said No. Do you plan to pray tomorrow's fajr? I don't know! then there was silence. I didn't want to talk I just wanted to walk peacefully, I left my eyeglasses up in my room I didn't want to see how ppl are looking at how weird I am dressed.
It wasn't cold night, but there was fresh air, My hijab was flattering like I was flying...
My brother left me, and now its only me ... I looked at the sky and shed a tear, took off my shoes and went inside...

Its four years later, the video above brings back the sweetest memories of days my heart was searching for light and was lead by Allah (swt), I first watched this video that night before I went to the masjid, I so remember every word said by every character in the video though it has been whole four years. I lost count how many I replayed it... I was sitting not so far away from where I am sitting now, in front of the computer screen and I was choking in tears that I couldn't take my breathe.

Those were the best days ever ...

wafi Amanillah